A Yellow Ribbon
by brightbluebird
Summary: After so much has happened, can Souske really return to Kaname?


A Yellow Ribbon

Summary: Souske has some fears about returning to Kaname after so much has happened.

* * *

"You look depressed, Souske, something wrong?" Mao had climbed up onto Al, where Souske was hiding. Well, he wasn't hiding, he was far from it. He was thinking. The battles had been won, Kaname was on her way back to Japan on a separate ship, and Souske would soon join her. Things were, for the first time in a long while, alright. Still, there was a feeling eating at Sargent Souske Sagara in the pit of his stomach.

He had been sitting in the cockpit of Al for a few hours now. It was only a while before Mao caught on that there was something wrong. And here she was, checking on him in typical big sister fashion.

After Souske appeared not to answer her, Mao pressed, "I thought you'd finally be happy. I mean, we've been through a lot, but Kaname is alright, and you get to go back to see her soon."

"Affirmative," Souske said, "Nonetheless, I am... worried."

Mao adjusted her seat on Al, leaning back on one of her hands, "What has you worried?"

Souske hesitated, looking away. He wasn't sure how to speak with Melissa about something like this. It was usually Kurz who Souske talked to about Kaname, but he couldn't now. It was nice of Mao to reach out like she did, but he couldn't help but feel slightly self-conscious around her, as she was his superior.

"Souske?"

The young soldier looked at his superior officer. She was being the "big sis" as Kurz had called her. The woman who sincerely cared about Souske as a person.

"Chidori and I said we would, erm, kiss... when we saw each other again," Souske suddenly heard himself saying. Well, whatever compelled him to say that was beyond him. He had meant to say it in a less crude manner, but that plan was gone now. He looked at Melissa warily, but her expression hadn't changed; it was still sincere and kind.

"Yeah. I heard something like that. So what're you worried about? Never kissed a girl or something?"

Souske shook his head, "I'm not worried about that. It's that Chidori was a civilian before all of this, and it would seem that after such traumatic events, her wants might have changed. I worry that she will be to opposed to anything that reminds her of what she has gone through."

"You're afraid that Kaname won't want you anymore?"

Souske opened his mouth, but closed it and nodded. He hoped that Mao would comfort him and tell him how foolish he was to think that.

"Yeah. I would be worried about that, too."

A bigger knot of emotion and nervousness welled up inside him.

"You can do something about it, though."

Souske leaned forward, "What can I do?"

Melissa shrugged, "Send her a message. Have her decide for herself." She maneuvered herself off of Al's mechanical body, jumping down.

"Wait, Mao!" Souske stuck his head out, looking down after his Sargent Major.

She turned, "What?"

"What kind of message should I send? I don't know what to do!"

Mao stuck out a hip and planted her hand on it, "Figure it out. I can't do everything for you. I'll be sure you can have the radio in an hour."

"But-"

"Figure it out!" she called over her shoulder as she left the hangar.

"SARGENT. I BELIEVE I HAVE AN IDEA."

Souske turned back to the cockpit, "Let me hear it, Al."

An hour later in the radio room, Souske sat, clutching the mouthpiece in his hand. Mao was there, and with a wave of her hand, he understood. He only had a little time to send his message off.

He coughed, clearing his throat.

"Message to Miss Kaname Chidori. Stop. From Souske Sagara. Stop." He took a breath, "Regarding our agreement, I understand if your have changed your mind. Stop. I am returning to Japan soon. Stop. If our agreement is still valid, tie a yellow ribbon on the trunk of the large oak outside your apartment building. Stop. If there is no ribbon, I will stop all interaction with you and leave. Stop. However, if there is a ribbon, I will return to you and fulfill the aforementioned agreement. Stop."

There was some radio silence and then, "Message received. Miss Chidori has confirmed she understands conditions of message." Stranger's voice, probably the soldier responsible to take care of Chidori until Souske returned.

Souske nodded to himself, putting the radio transmitter down.

"A yellow ribbon?" Mao asked as the two of them exited the radio room.

"Al said yellow ribbons are a sign of supporting troops in America. Chidori should understand the meaning of it." Souske answered.

"What if there's no ribbon when you get there?"

Souske stopped dead in his tracks. "Then, I'll do as I said. I won't go on with my mission to protect her."

Mao stared at him for a long while, then, "Don't worry, I don't think that she'd ever-"

Souske started walking again, "I'm prepared for either situation."

He said that, but Souske's nervousness was apparent as he and Mao rode the bus toward Kaname's apartment. Part of him wanted to watch for the large building he knew so well. The building which he would trip over himself in order to get across the street to get to her, worried she was in some sort of danger. Now that he thought about it, there didn't seem to be a time he had done that where she had actually been in trouble.

How many times had he done something with his weapons for no reason? How many times had Chidori corrected him in her violent manner? How many of those times she hit him with a shoe or a fan had she really been trying to tell him something else?

He looked over at Mao, a woman who had treated Kurz in a similar manner. Yet how she loved him. How she cried into Souske's shoulder as he held in her shaking body in distress when they had returned and Kurz had been left behind. It barely showed on her now. She was still the big sis, but it was as if something was missing from her. She read through the reports now as Souske looked over at her. If he were to leave without seeing Kaname would she become like Mao? Would she would still be Kaname, but would there be something missing from her? Could something like that happen to Kaname? Kaname Chidori, the girl so full of life it was bursting from her at every moment?

Mao looked over at Souske, his staring had made her curious. "What?"

Would he become like Mao? Would part of him be lost without Kaname? What about the people in his future? Could he imagine a world in which those he knew never had heard of the girl with the most beautiful energy bursting from her?

"Souske?"

There were two futures in front of him as he sat in that bus. One who got a yellow ribbon, and the other who had seen nothing on the trunk of the tree. He looked at the two Souske Sagaras of the future; one with Kaname and the other without. The one without he stood alone in desert sands, much like that from his childhood. More scars had found their way onto him, and his eyes were dark and cold. There was no Tessa or Mao, just destruction and war. He was a soldier and nothing more.

In his mind's eye he saw his other self. This man was different. There was a warm glow about him, a soft smile playing on his lips. Next to him Kaname stood, her smile wide, directed at him. That Sagara held her hand. That man believed in something great, that man was something great.

"Are you alright?" Mao's voice seemed far away.

He was so close now. Close to all he wanted, and he knew that one ribbon is what he needed to feel free. He knew if she wanted him, if they were together, he could always be strong. Even in places where the world was crashing around them, he could do what was needed. That had happened time and time before. If she was there, near, saying his name, speaking of how much she believed in him, he would be able to make it through.

He came back to Mao, who had her eyebrows furrowed in worry. "Souske? You okay?"

"Affirmative," he sighed, looking out the window next to him.

"Okay. You ready? We're almost there."

There was silence between them until he turned back to Melissa, "Mao?"

"Hm?" She didn't look up from her report.

Souske swallowed. "Will you look for me?"

Her dark eyes looked up at him, confusion in them. "Don't worry. I'm sure it will be there."

Souske looked away, "I'm not so certain."

Mao sighed largely, "Okay, I'll look. Don't get yourself crazy worrying about it." She moved over to the other side of the bus where she could look out the window closest to the side of the street where Kaname's building was.

The way there seemed long, though he knew it wasn't. He knew that they were close, and his nervousness was built up inside him. Would they have a happy ending, or was her wish never to see him again and forget all that had happened to her? Did she still want him? She had said she did, but that was a long time ago now.

Another turn and Souske buried his face in his hands. But then he heard laughter from Mao. He looked at her, and she was smiling largely.

"What?" He asked.

"Dammit, Souske, you have got to see this."

The bus stopped, Mao shooed him off the bus, not allowing him to look out. But as he got off he saw the oak. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

A hundred yellow ribbons around the tree's branches. Next to him Mao was laughing in pure joy, and reached over and patted his shoulders.

"See? Told you."

Souske couldn't do anything but nod.

From behind the tree stepped a blue-haired girl. She had been tying the last ribbon on. She stared at him for a minute, then smiled.

"Souske."

At first he could do nothing but blink, making sure she wasn't a hallucination. He took a step towards her, "Kaname. You..."

"You better like it. I stayed up all night doing it." She twisted her finger around one of the ribbon's ends. "I... missed you." She said quietly.

Souske was silent. Mao coughed and stuck her elbow into his side.

He took a few steps forward and so did she. They were so close and he seemed barely able to breathe. Kaname's gaze went from his eyes and down to his lips, and he found himself doing the same. A long strand of hair blew in front of her face, and Souske reached out, pushing it aside.

And he kissed her.


End file.
